He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
