I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
