Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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