cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
