In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A+ Viking dick
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
