I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Operation Purity has been aborted
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
