can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
