He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
