Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
