i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
