In America we eat man semen.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
