Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
