I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
