the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
someone owes me an orgasm
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
