Screwed.edu
farters have to be the big spoon...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
