I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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