hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
