Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
