Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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