neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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