it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm at about main and main street
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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