We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
