Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
