I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
