i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
