And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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