Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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