How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
