turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
