Where are you?
In a non slutty way
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
