Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
