is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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