and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
