idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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