champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
