When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
