I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
