My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
