I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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