Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
