i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm really busy with my period
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