Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
