I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
