The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
