i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
