I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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