umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
