and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
