Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
high people should be assigned attendants
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
