gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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