he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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