Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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